Inner Dialogue

Deep breathes, let it go. It's not that important... is it? 
It is important, very important. It hurt on so many levels how could it not be?
You're over reacting, (like always) it wasn't that big a deal.
If anything, I'm under-reacting. If I don't address this it's just going to get worse. My emotions are not invalid, my feelings are real, and actually effect my life and well being. I have value, my thoughts have value. Not more than anyone else's, but just as much as anyone else's.
You were in the wrong
Yes I was, but I apologized for that
More may need to be done
True, for both sides. At least I've done something, I was heartfelt with my actions... There would have been no action from the other side if we didn't threaten them. 
You shouldn't have escalated things
I dissargge, it was a rational action, I'm not obligated to take that sort of abuse. She shouldn't have escalated how she did, calmer, gentler words, should have been used. But what's done is done, we both had our very valid reasons for our actions. How do I fix this?
Ignore it, let it fade into obscurity.
No, that doesn't fix things, building a house on a cracked foundation is not how I want to procede.
Then talk to her
... I'm hessitant, I can't be sure that it will help, what if it makes things worse? What if I ruin everything by trying to fix it all?
Is there anything to fix? Isn't this how it's always been?
There's plenty to fix, if this happened once, it'll happen again. It might happen to my son, he doesn't deserve that. Just because we always ignore the bad stuff doesn't mean it's not there. I refuse to teach my son this sort of tactic for dealing with difficult things.
Then how would you want him to handle this sort of situation?
.... I don't know....

Try... Try to fix it, but carefully... Talking may be neccesary... but we're both likely to get clumsy if we talk in person, or in real time... maybe a written conversation?
That's cowardly
Maybe, but it's something, and boldness will not win me any points here... things need to change, but I will do all in my power to change them for the better. If that means slowly and carefully proceding in a way, commonly seen as cowardly, so be it. It's more cowardly to say nothing.


Time to tend to the mending 

N00b

I used to dedicate, on average upwards of 13 hours a week to religion.
4 hours on Sunday
1 1/2 hours every weekday morning
1+ hours twice a week to evening activities

This became exhausting for me because 1) My heart wasn't in the religion anymore and 2) I was running off of 5 hours of sleep on average through this, and had no option to just sleep through any of it.

Since I left that incredibly organized and structured group, I really haven't spent much time learning about my new faith. Part of this I can blame on our lack of organization. Most of it however falls on me. I need to make time for my Gods, they've always made time for me.

I have done a pretty good job at keeping washing day going. I  have also observed every major Blot of this year so far. However, in all the Facebook groups I belong to, I still feel like a lay member, with nothing to contribute. I've been decidedly Asatru for almost 5 years now, and still feel like I'm at beginner level. This is concerning to me. I need to find time between the diaper changes, the feedings, the budget planning, the doctor's and vet visits, the cleaning, the planning for life after the military, and everything else that comes with being a stay at home mom, to learn about my faith. I haven't read all the lore, I couldn't tell you about any of our important founders or figureheads, I have no clue about any of the archaeological finds, and I know very little about beings other than the Gods. The only thing I feel like I've got going for me is that I am kick-ass with bind runes.

So here's the plan internets!
1) Finish reading all the books and articles I have started (3 books, 5 articles, I have a problem with finishing reading)
2) Dedicate at least 1/2 an hour a day to learning about Asatru, increase to 1 hr after  month or two.
3) Ask questions in the Facebook Groups I belong to. I have a bad habit of just lurking around, if I don't ask I won't learn.

Here's hoping I can do better.