I often times go through my Facebook and roll my eyes at this Christian post, and that Christian post. I find it annoying to see extremely Christian posts in my news feed. Just today I got two different friends posting about how great their megachurches are, and how much they love Jesus. I find these posts really annoying, but interesting. Interesting because I'm just as guilty of it. Here's some examples from March:
"The Gods help those who help themselves. It's high time I pick myself up, dust myself off, grab my weapon, and fight back."
"Hail be to Frigga! Anyone have good ideas for offerings I can give her?"
"A very happy Freya/ Frigga/ Freyr's (whichever you might be honoring today) day to you all. I feel like I should get some sort of regular rotation between the three, but that would require me to have regular rituals, and the closest I've gotten to that is Washing Day."
"Computer battery is getting low, guess that means it's time to actually finish this washing day huh? There's not much left, I did most of the big stuff yesterday. Maybe I'll use the extra time for a rune casting, it's been awhile."
All of these are likely just as annoying to my Christian, and Atheist friends, especially the first one. So what was my point in posting that? To convert my friends? To please my Gods? To scream at my friends "I AM PAGAN!"?
I don't really care what religion my friends are because I believe any path is capable of bringing someone happiness. Therefor, I don't believe conversion was my goal.
I don't feel like my Gods care about my Facebook statuses. So, I likely didn't post these to bring a smile to Ullr's face.
I believe most of my Pagan central posts are to announce my Paganism to my friends... who already know I'm Pagan. Similarly, when a Christian posts Christian central content, they are announcing their Christianity to people who likely already have been made aware of their beliefs. It's posturing, and annoying to me, and likely annoying to my friends. Facebook probably isn't the best place to share religious messages, outside of religious groups and pages of course.
So, to sum up: I'm irritated by Christians posting things that announce to the world that the sky is blue. I, however, love to tell people that the grass is green. We all need to shut up about the obvious.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Why do you like me so much? I'm a bitch
I don't know what I've done to make my Gods elect to help me out so much, but they certainly are quick and efficient about it. I'm really not used to it.
Being raised Christian I was taught that God will help you, if, when, and how, he believes you should be helped. I was a flawed being, my mere existence a stain on my God's otherwise perfect creation. He sacrificed so much for me and I couldn't even get through a day without disappointing him. When I prayed it was like applying for a credit card when you are a homemaker. It's worth a shot, but don't hold your breath. Hopefully, this is not how most Christians see their relationship with God, but it's how I interpreted it. This led me to ask for less and less from my God. I was often told to pray for help. "Ask God for anything and everything, and he'll give it to you (if it's right for you)." But I was becoming more and more self-sufficient. I didn't need anything from him. I had already learned how to do it myself, or do without. And when you've been told that your relationship with God should be one where you "Need [him] every hour", and you find yourself going weeks without needing him, it's hard to have a relationship with him.
My relationship with the Aesir and Vanir is much different from my relationship with my old Christian God. They are much more like friends than a credit card company. If you've helped them in the past, or they just really like you, and it's in their power to do so, they'll help you out. I feel like it's a much healthier relationship for me. However, I hit a snag every time I ask for something from my Gods. I rarely give my Gods anything. I know, "Bad heathen" When it comes to offerings I never know what they might like. When it comes to blots, I'm unsure of what to do (being that I am still fairly new to Asatru). I also rarely simply commune with them; my last Rune casting was New Years. The only thing I can think my Gods get from me, is a follower, who believes herself honorable, but doesn't get tested much either. I have a hard time seeing this as enough, but just about every time I ask for aid, in anyway, my Gods are quick and efficient in lending it. Why is this?
Is it that my bar for receiving aid from the divine is really so low?
Is it that I really have done something they like, and I'm just unaware of it?
Do they really just like me that much? If so, why? I haven't really done anything noteworthy with my life, and I've done even less for my religious community.
It's something I wonder about, I keep trying to improve myself, but where I am now, I can't fathom why the Gods would look so kindly on me. Thoughts?
Being raised Christian I was taught that God will help you, if, when, and how, he believes you should be helped. I was a flawed being, my mere existence a stain on my God's otherwise perfect creation. He sacrificed so much for me and I couldn't even get through a day without disappointing him. When I prayed it was like applying for a credit card when you are a homemaker. It's worth a shot, but don't hold your breath. Hopefully, this is not how most Christians see their relationship with God, but it's how I interpreted it. This led me to ask for less and less from my God. I was often told to pray for help. "Ask God for anything and everything, and he'll give it to you (if it's right for you)." But I was becoming more and more self-sufficient. I didn't need anything from him. I had already learned how to do it myself, or do without. And when you've been told that your relationship with God should be one where you "Need [him] every hour", and you find yourself going weeks without needing him, it's hard to have a relationship with him.
My relationship with the Aesir and Vanir is much different from my relationship with my old Christian God. They are much more like friends than a credit card company. If you've helped them in the past, or they just really like you, and it's in their power to do so, they'll help you out. I feel like it's a much healthier relationship for me. However, I hit a snag every time I ask for something from my Gods. I rarely give my Gods anything. I know, "Bad heathen" When it comes to offerings I never know what they might like. When it comes to blots, I'm unsure of what to do (being that I am still fairly new to Asatru). I also rarely simply commune with them; my last Rune casting was New Years. The only thing I can think my Gods get from me, is a follower, who believes herself honorable, but doesn't get tested much either. I have a hard time seeing this as enough, but just about every time I ask for aid, in anyway, my Gods are quick and efficient in lending it. Why is this?
Is it that my bar for receiving aid from the divine is really so low?
Is it that I really have done something they like, and I'm just unaware of it?
Do they really just like me that much? If so, why? I haven't really done anything noteworthy with my life, and I've done even less for my religious community.
It's something I wonder about, I keep trying to improve myself, but where I am now, I can't fathom why the Gods would look so kindly on me. Thoughts?
Monday, March 24, 2014
Did you know having a kid changes your life forever? Go figure.
I recently saw a post on my Facebook feed that honestly, pissed me off. It shows up periodically, and everytime I see it I find more wrong with it. It's a long one so I'm going to do this; The lighter and smaller text is from the post, the darker larger text is my opinion on the matter.
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
No shit? I've never heard that before. Please tell me more useless nonsense, and let's continue to avoid the question.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
Well, they are childbirth, not child-rearing classes...
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
I often see stories and worry about if it was my child, or my husband, my brother, my mother, my father, etc. Empathy, is not exculsive to mothers.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I feel like I can grant this one, being that I have yet to be completely responsible for another being's nutrition. My cat eats on her own, I just fill the bowl... and only when my husband doesn't have time to.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I would drop the same silly things if I heard my husband, mother, grandparents, or siblings call for me in the same way. When people you care about need you, you drop things to go to them. This is again, not exclusive to mothers.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
Again, I suppose I can grant this one, but I still feel like it depends on the woman, maybe she really enjoys her career. Let's not even get into the struggle that fathers have to go through, having the social stigma to be the breadwinners, but having the same urges. Let's not underestimate our men shall we?
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
I really hope this amount of paranoia doesn't take hold of me. I understand where it comes from, but I also feel like if we try to shelter our children from every bad person or thing, we aren't raising strong people, we are raising victims. Teach your child how to deal with shady people and avoid this whole paraniod silliness altogether.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Well I second guess if I should have taken that route to the grocery store or a different one, so looky there, nothing changes... again
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
Are we going to go into this?
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
So, is that a 'No'? Also, you just said that she'll be willing to sacrifice herself for these tiny humans, but will want to be alive to see them happy... Sorry, thought that was just called love, and it was not exclusive to parenthood at all.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
This is one of the worst lines in this thing. If you are capable of accepting these scars, I applaud you. However, I will admit, that I am very vain, and flaws in my appearance bother me a lot. If I don't like something about my body, I will change it. I already have quite a few stretch marks on my butt and thighs and several breakdowns because of them. I can't ever see myself looking at those hideous things and being proud of them. A hideous badge of honor, is still hideous, despite the honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
Another one that I'll grant, my husband and I were at a friends house and he helped them with their youngest who was a bit fussy. Seeing this little one cuddle into my husband's chest and to see my husband wrap his arms around him and comfort him, was really cute.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I don't think those reasons will ever be romantic. You can fall in love with someone for unromantic reasons, granted romance is usually a big part of it. There are unromantic moments that have made me love my husband more than the day before, and I don't think I need a child to be capable of that.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I can't help but feel like this one is a bit back-handed. Sure the mothers who have fought against these things are driven, but there are other reasons to fight against these things than you have a child. It almost makes all the other activists seem like they aren't as important as the mother's.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
THESE are things that I don't yet know, this is what I was looking for through the whole post, why are there only two lines of this?
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
Because all the joy you've felt before wasn't real. Clearly, this woman has never had her husband come home from a deployment... or hell, just call during the deployment.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
I have met plenty of women who regret having children when they did. You'll never regret having the child, but you might regret how, when, why, and with whom, you had children.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Motherhood is not for everyone, do not assume that it's the "most wonderful of callings" when for many women, it isn't even on their radar. I get that motherhood is cool, but honestly, I have a hard time seeing a mother on such a high pedestal, for simply being a mother, that she looks down on everyone else. Also, again, leaving out the men.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart."
Well isn't that just precious? I don't think there is an image, gif, video, or emoticon in existence that emulates the large amount of eye-role this gets from me. This post acts like poetry, like it's some form of wonderful wave of enlightenment. As someone who enjoys poetry, this is awful. It's just babble; talking about motherhood, without actually saying anything about motherhood. You want to do that? Write a blog. :-)
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
No shit? I've never heard that before. Please tell me more useless nonsense, and let's continue to avoid the question.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
Well, they are childbirth, not child-rearing classes...
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
I often see stories and worry about if it was my child, or my husband, my brother, my mother, my father, etc. Empathy, is not exculsive to mothers.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I feel like I can grant this one, being that I have yet to be completely responsible for another being's nutrition. My cat eats on her own, I just fill the bowl... and only when my husband doesn't have time to.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I would drop the same silly things if I heard my husband, mother, grandparents, or siblings call for me in the same way. When people you care about need you, you drop things to go to them. This is again, not exclusive to mothers.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
Again, I suppose I can grant this one, but I still feel like it depends on the woman, maybe she really enjoys her career. Let's not even get into the struggle that fathers have to go through, having the social stigma to be the breadwinners, but having the same urges. Let's not underestimate our men shall we?
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
I really hope this amount of paranoia doesn't take hold of me. I understand where it comes from, but I also feel like if we try to shelter our children from every bad person or thing, we aren't raising strong people, we are raising victims. Teach your child how to deal with shady people and avoid this whole paraniod silliness altogether.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Well I second guess if I should have taken that route to the grocery store or a different one, so looky there, nothing changes... again
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
Are we going to go into this?
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
So, is that a 'No'? Also, you just said that she'll be willing to sacrifice herself for these tiny humans, but will want to be alive to see them happy... Sorry, thought that was just called love, and it was not exclusive to parenthood at all.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
This is one of the worst lines in this thing. If you are capable of accepting these scars, I applaud you. However, I will admit, that I am very vain, and flaws in my appearance bother me a lot. If I don't like something about my body, I will change it. I already have quite a few stretch marks on my butt and thighs and several breakdowns because of them. I can't ever see myself looking at those hideous things and being proud of them. A hideous badge of honor, is still hideous, despite the honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
Another one that I'll grant, my husband and I were at a friends house and he helped them with their youngest who was a bit fussy. Seeing this little one cuddle into my husband's chest and to see my husband wrap his arms around him and comfort him, was really cute.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I don't think those reasons will ever be romantic. You can fall in love with someone for unromantic reasons, granted romance is usually a big part of it. There are unromantic moments that have made me love my husband more than the day before, and I don't think I need a child to be capable of that.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I can't help but feel like this one is a bit back-handed. Sure the mothers who have fought against these things are driven, but there are other reasons to fight against these things than you have a child. It almost makes all the other activists seem like they aren't as important as the mother's.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
THESE are things that I don't yet know, this is what I was looking for through the whole post, why are there only two lines of this?
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
Because all the joy you've felt before wasn't real. Clearly, this woman has never had her husband come home from a deployment... or hell, just call during the deployment.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
I have met plenty of women who regret having children when they did. You'll never regret having the child, but you might regret how, when, why, and with whom, you had children.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Motherhood is not for everyone, do not assume that it's the "most wonderful of callings" when for many women, it isn't even on their radar. I get that motherhood is cool, but honestly, I have a hard time seeing a mother on such a high pedestal, for simply being a mother, that she looks down on everyone else. Also, again, leaving out the men.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart."
Well isn't that just precious? I don't think there is an image, gif, video, or emoticon in existence that emulates the large amount of eye-role this gets from me. This post acts like poetry, like it's some form of wonderful wave of enlightenment. As someone who enjoys poetry, this is awful. It's just babble; talking about motherhood, without actually saying anything about motherhood. You want to do that? Write a blog. :-)
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