As an Army wife (or oil field wife because you girls have it just as bad) your hopes are always on a roller coaster. He's coming home, he's leaving, you're going on vacation, plans have changed. To ride these emotions, not just every month or so, but every day is exhausting. Many wives, myself included, go numb. We flat line ourselves at no hope so that anything good that happens is a pleasant surprise, and all the bad is what we expected. Usually we believe this only applies to our husband's job, but in my experience, that' snot the case. It spreads into other aspects of your life, and clouds your mind with storms. This, is no way to live. There is no joy in this, it's a coping/ defense mechanism, and I feel like we really should break out of it. So my dears, what lights fires in your soul? What wakes your heart's drummer? What sparks your eyes and ignites your brain? I know what mine is. Please comment with your own.
I sort of lament that I found archery after Brave and Hunger Games came out. They weren't my reasons, or driving forces for getting into it, but every shop I've been to expects that from me. I can't say that I blame them for it either. No, my driving force is my soul. The first time I shot a bow...I was at girl's camp and there was no way 12 year old me was going to get that 30lbs compound bow to work for me, but my 2nd time shooting; I felt amazing, like I had been stumbling around in a dark room my whole life, and only just now had found the switch. I once told my husband that when I shoot, I am truly happy, the numbness that I've wrapped around my soul is lifted, and I can breathe again. When I shoot, I am strong, I am beautiful, I am precise, and unlike most things, if I fail and miss my target, I don't beat myself up, I correct and shoot again. I don't waist my time at the range wishing I did better, like I used to do after work every night at the theater. I leave the range with my head held high, proud of the progress I've made. My biggest downfall when I shoot is how excited I am to shoot. I get overexcited and forget to lower my elbow, or relax my wrists, or turn my hips. This will likely be my biggest hurdle throughout my archery career.
Oh yes, you read right, career. It has occurred to Kelson and I that he, being an introvert, and I , being an extrovert, would both be happier if I were to bring home the bacon. I rather like this idea, but I was really concerned over what on earth I could do to support my family, when we were finally done with the military. Admittedly, I had a very hard time thinking up anything that I could do to bring in enough money to support my family.When I pictured wealthy bread winning women, I always pictured someone well dressed walking around an office of some sort in a skyscraper.... That is not me. So I looked at my interests: Theater? No money to be had there. Designing? Yeah, that could work. In fact fashion design was my goal for awhile, then I picked up my bow again. The last time I had gone shooting was 10 months ago. My husband, probably sensing how numb I had become to everything around me, decided that we would go to the range on the weekend. Just holding my bow again made me giddy, and let's not get into what running my fingers down the fletching does to me. I was happy, really happy. Some time after I was thinking again about careers, and thought of that old saying. "find what you love, then find someone to pay you for it". I love Archery, now I just needed to find a way to get paid for it.
There's always tournaments, but they aren't really "supporting a family" income. My brother suggested big game hunting, sell 90% of the meat, keep some for my freezer, that way I literally bring home the bacon, and get money too. This is great, but I feel it depends too heavily on hunting seasons, and my ability to hunt down, not only an animal, but a buyer too. I could very easily do the first two ideas in conjunction with a day job, but how much time would I have with my family afterwards? Then, I looked into coaching. Turns out, that, maybe coupled with maybe a part-time job until I get a good amount of students, coaching could very likely support my family. I am currently looking into my own archery coach, and one day I will be able to not only do what I love, but get paid for it.
The key to avoiding the emotional flat line, is find something that you love (we all love our husbands, but let's face it, they aren't really dependable thanks to their jobs), and set a high, but obtainable goal for it. Yes, it's a distraction, yes, it's a coping/defense mechanism, but it's a much healthier one than the flat line, and you know it. So, revisit what you love to do, maybe find a new something, because, you don't deserve to be numb, you deserve to be happy. No,not happy, you deserve to set your soul on fire with joy. :-)
Oh yes, you read right, career. It has occurred to Kelson and I that he, being an introvert, and I , being an extrovert, would both be happier if I were to bring home the bacon. I rather like this idea, but I was really concerned over what on earth I could do to support my family, when we were finally done with the military. Admittedly, I had a very hard time thinking up anything that I could do to bring in enough money to support my family.When I pictured wealthy bread winning women, I always pictured someone well dressed walking around an office of some sort in a skyscraper.... That is not me. So I looked at my interests: Theater? No money to be had there. Designing? Yeah, that could work. In fact fashion design was my goal for awhile, then I picked up my bow again. The last time I had gone shooting was 10 months ago. My husband, probably sensing how numb I had become to everything around me, decided that we would go to the range on the weekend. Just holding my bow again made me giddy, and let's not get into what running my fingers down the fletching does to me. I was happy, really happy. Some time after I was thinking again about careers, and thought of that old saying. "find what you love, then find someone to pay you for it". I love Archery, now I just needed to find a way to get paid for it.
There's always tournaments, but they aren't really "supporting a family" income. My brother suggested big game hunting, sell 90% of the meat, keep some for my freezer, that way I literally bring home the bacon, and get money too. This is great, but I feel it depends too heavily on hunting seasons, and my ability to hunt down, not only an animal, but a buyer too. I could very easily do the first two ideas in conjunction with a day job, but how much time would I have with my family afterwards? Then, I looked into coaching. Turns out, that, maybe coupled with maybe a part-time job until I get a good amount of students, coaching could very likely support my family. I am currently looking into my own archery coach, and one day I will be able to not only do what I love, but get paid for it.
The key to avoiding the emotional flat line, is find something that you love (we all love our husbands, but let's face it, they aren't really dependable thanks to their jobs), and set a high, but obtainable goal for it. Yes, it's a distraction, yes, it's a coping/defense mechanism, but it's a much healthier one than the flat line, and you know it. So, revisit what you love to do, maybe find a new something, because, you don't deserve to be numb, you deserve to be happy. No,not happy, you deserve to set your soul on fire with joy. :-)
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